Emotional blackmail is when somebody threatens you in such a way that if you do or don’t do something, they’re going to unleash an emotion on you. Unfortunately, the emotion they are threatening you with is usually negative such as anger or resentment, rather a position emotion such as joy or happiness.
Here’s how emotional blackmail works and what to do about it.
After a while, you may get conditioned to the threat in a way that they don’t have to verbalize it anymore. All they have to do is give you a look or a situation where you know the threat is implied. This becomes the “cue” and gets imbedded into your relationship. You just do what they want to avoid their negative emotion.
You have a perfect right to go out if you want to, but they’re threatening you and trying to control you with this emotion. This emotional blackmail can happen in any situation: at work, with family, friends, and bosses.
Here’s what to do about emotional blackmail.
When they threaten you, you simply say “that’s right” with a very flat voice tone. The voice tone is very important, so watch the video above to hear me demonstrate exactly how to do it.
If they say, “if you go out tonight I’m just going to blow my top” – you respond by saying “that’s right” in a matter-of-fact-that’s-exactly-what’s-going-to-happen-but-I-don’t-care tone. Don’t say ‘I don’t care,’ don’t argue with them, don’t try and justify your behaviour, and most of all don’t give in to the emotional blackmail.
By not giving into their threats, you’ve found the key to your success. If you give in, it’s just going to reinforce the bad behaviour.
Here’s what is going to happen when you say, “that’s right.” They’re not going to know what to do, so they’re going to do the bad behaviour more. You are likely to get more threats with increased intensity before it gets better.
But there’s good news!
When you hold tight and only say “that’s right,” you’re going to find that the emotional blackmail is going to go away. The person is going to give up and do something else or give up entirely.
And… you’ll be free from the emotional blackmail. I look forward to hearing what happens when you put this strategy to work and solve your problem!