EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION FOR PEOPLE WHO AREN’T NATURAL COMMUNICATORS
Proven Methods Instantly Improve
the Way You Communicate
MOST PEOPLE AREN’T NATURAL COMMUNICATORS
And It’s Not Their Fault
Realistically… how are you supposed to learn how to communicate effectively?
When are we taught how to communicate?
For most people, the answer is”never”.
Not from our parents… not in grade school… not in high school… and not even in college or university.
Even business communication classes don’t give you practical skills you need to succeed in today’s ultra- competitive workplace.
Fortunately, there are easy-to-learn and easy-to-use step by step systems, methods, and frameworks you can learn and follow to communicate effectively even if you have struggled your entire life.
And if you’re already a good communicator, you can be even better… fast.
HOW I CAN HELP YOU AND YOUR ORGANIZATION
Simple, Step-By-Step, Proven Methods For Fast Communication Improvement
Some people are natural communicators – but I’m not. And… if you are reading this, you might not be a naturally gifted communicator either.
I’m a communication challenged computer programmer who started several companies and I’ve struggled all of my life to be understood and understand others.
So… I decided to study the best communicators of all time, learn their methods, and use these methods to my benefit.
Here’s my conclusion after almost twenty years of study:
People Are Like Cars
While they have different sizes, shapes, colors, and body styles, they still operate basically the same.
This means that once you learn the pricinples of effective communication, the principles work for everyone.
I’ve condensed everything I’ve learned about effective communication into step-by-step frameworks that anyone can learn – and I’ll teach these methods to you and your staff.
Not only will you learn the steps, you will also understand the principles underlying them so you know why they work and can apply them to a wide variety of situations.
SIX COMMON COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
Fortunately, There Are Step-By-Step Solutions For Each Of These
LACK OF EMOTIONAL SAFETY DESTROYS THE EXCHANGE OF IDEAS
Have you ever been afraid to say something because you knew no one cared about your point of view or you expected a negative reaction?
Without a doubt, this is the primary communication problem that most organizations and individuals face. The three primary causes of this problem are invalidation, judgement, and internal focus.
Over the past ten years I’ve developed and refined my Reflective Listening™ program to include teaching, methods, and exercises that resolve this problem in just a few hours.
COMMUNICATION STYLE CONFLICTS BRING FRUSTRATION AND AVOIDANCE
The conclusion of my research and experience of working with tens of thousands of people is that people are 90% the same (which makes my step-by-step systems possible) and 10% different. Think of it as two layers with the 10% difference on the top and the 90% similarity on the bottom.
To help everyone understand the 10% surface difference, my Communication Styles 2.0™ model provides an online assessment and individual report that anyone can use to understand themselves and those around them.
PAST NEGATIVE PATTERNS
PREVENT TEAM WORK
Whenever people meet each other, expected patterns of communication and behavior are quickly created (within seconds) and the longer people are together, the more entrenched the patterns become.
These patterns are valuable if they are positive and empowering, but destructive when they are not.
HIDDEN AGENDAS SABOTAGE PROFITABILITY
Values are certainty about what is important and hidden agendas are caused by mismatched values.
On the surface this doesn’t seem like a communication problem, but it is because once people understand their values hierarchy (every person, team, and organization has one whether they know what it is or not), effective communication strategies can be used to align the values and resolve the conflicts.
FALSE PERCEPTIONS RESULT IN UNNECESSARY CONFLICT
Yes, there really are difficult people.
The solution to difficult people is to understand that bad behaviors are done for good reasons. The difficult person is being difficult because they gain something positive (from their viewpoint) from their bad behavior.
Therefore most difficult behaviors can be resolved using my three step method (1) determine what the person gains from the bad behavior (2) stop them from getting what they want when they do their difficult behavior (3) give them a better way of getting the positive outcome they are seeking using their difficult behavior.
OVER RELIANCE ON ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION
Email (and even texting) is a valuable business tool, but it is ineffective and dangerous when it is used for complex or emotional issues.
We have all had an email that was perfect clear when we sent it be horribly misunderstood by the receiver.
Unfortunately, this can result in destroyed business personal relationships, wasted time, and financial losses.
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING ABOUT PAUL
Thanks again for the tools you provided at our shareholders meeting. I’m noticing that we are regularly trying to employ better listening techniques…and everyone is still trying to figure out how to make the “neutral” positions for listening a more natural part of our conversations.
It’s challenging to adapt, but it’s an effective strategy. I’m happy to see everyone making a conscientious effort to actively listen (including me).Brenda Bevington
The effort you have put into preparing and delivering this material is more than I can comprehend right now. The timing, staging, cadence.
Paul, your consideration of the audience demonstrates how effective these tools can be, and in the process of this demonstration introduced some of the most powerful skills I have ever learned about. This course and your delivery is nothing short of masterful. M. Johnston
Our attendees felt the awareness and insight to their own communication styles and how they interact with others was extremely valuable for their continued success… their only complaint was that they needed more time with Paul to explore using their results in everyday interactions. Jennifer Beery
This was far more relevant and meaningful for our global team than commonly recommended ice breakers and virtual activities. Brenda Bradley
EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
Quick Tips About How To Communicate Effectively
Each Video Is Less Than Five Minutes – Enjoy!
If you want to get a raise, here’s exactly how to do it.
The best part is that you only need to learn an eight word question!
Have you even been in the situation where you had to comfort someone and you didn’t know what to say?
If so, this post is for you.
You will learn exactly what to say (and not say) to comfort someone in time of crisis or even depression – even if you have low emotional intelligence or no natural empathy.read more
To communicate better – listen better!
Reflective listening is an easy-to-use four step system you can use to instantly become a better listener by reflecting back to the speaker what they ment by what they said.
A fast way to communicate effectively.read more
Here’s the secret to getting the most out of anything that goes wrong.
Bad events are going to occur… and yes, we don’t want to pretend that they didn’t – but your internal communication is the key. The way you define and label the event when you think about it will will control whether it moves you forward or holds you back.
Here’s how to define and label events when you think about them so that you extract the learning and move ahead.read more
We use labels all the time to simplify life.
The reason we use labels is because there’s so much information in the world that we can’t process every piece of it individually. So we group things together and we put labels on them. We have to do this to keep from being overwhelmed and maintain our sanity.
Think about the labels you use for yourself and those around you.read more
Communication in relationships can be some of our most challenging communication because romantic partners know each other so well and unempowering communication patterns can creep in from almost the beginning of the relationship.
In this article, I show you exactly how to break existing patterns and use effective communication to create a path to intimacy in any relationship.
Download and use my ten agreements as a starting point and enjoy the results!read more
HOW I CAN HELP YOU COMMUNICATE BETTER
Effective Communication Training Customized To Your Needs
Effective Communication Keynotes
This format is perfect for larger groups and uses teaching and story-telling with a limited amount of audience interaction to set the tone for an event.
During the keynote, I will introduce your group to some of the reasons why effective communication is the most sought after (and hardest to find) skill in the business world, and provide two or three specific suggestions that each person can put to use right away to become a more effective communicator before they leave the room.
Effective Communication Workshops
Without a doubt this is my favorite format because it allows for highly customized interaction with the participants. In each workshop I teach step-by-step frameworks to make everyone better communicators and we solve specific individual and group communication problems.
During my communication training workshops, we make extensive use of individual and group surveys, assessments, templates, and exercises to make sure everyone has practice using the learnings before they return to work. This makes it highly likely that the strategies will be put to use rather than reverting to existing patterns under pressure.
Note: we never do role playing because pretending to be someone else is not an effective learning method.
Effective Communication Webinars
A webinar is a cost effective and fast way of teaching a new communication strategy to a group.
My most popular webinar pairs my Communication Styles 2.0 assessment and Personal Insight report with a webinar that teaches the group how to understand their natural communication tendencies and the tendencies of those they work with and then how to adapt and adjust to be more effective with each other.
Other standard and customized webinars are available to help everyone in your group become more effective communicators.
Effective Communication Consulting and Coaching
Individual or group coaching and consulting is available on a very limited basis.
A typical coaching engagement begins by discussing a particular issue, problem, or situation and expands to include other opportunities and challenges – many of which may not be directly related to effective communication.
Hi Paul I hope this email finds you well! I just wanted to reach out and to say thank you for all of the work that you did with me last year. I am a better leader because of you, have learned to “pause” and have become better at asking questions in order to get to where I need to go. It was this time last year that you took me on as a client and were so supportive. I am grateful, thank you.