why you feel the way you do... and how to change it
Recorded live at TEDx
Every behavior follows this sequence: Event > Meaning > Emotion > Behavior.
Some psychologists counsel to forget or change the event but this is unwise because the event might have an important learning that will protect you in the future. Sometimes we are told to just “control” and suppress our emotions and behaviors but this is ineffective also because it takes too much energy and many emotions are triggered automatically. Everyone has experienced this.
Because events have no meaning other than the one we assign to them
(examples included), the most effective strategy to control emotions is
to uncover other possible meanings for the event that is causing the
emotion. Once other meanings are uncovered, the emotion dissipates and
the unempowering behavior stops automatically and permanently.
Note that the meaning or the event doesn’t necessarily need to change- simply uncovering alternative possible meanings is sufficient.
Because effective communication is the foundational skill that underlies all other skills, our mission is to create frameworks and strategies that any person or team can use to communicate more effectively regardless of their background or current skill level.