Use Texting In A Relationship Carefully
Even in our closest relationships, we’re often likely to talk by text rather than face to face these days. Texting is great for conveying factual information or asking questions, but it can be dangerous when trying to discuss difficult subjects.
The more important the outcome of the communication, the more important it is that you do it in person.
Here’s the results from research at Brigham Young University that surveyed couples in committed relationships.
The major findings included men reporting less relationship satisfaction due to excessive texting.
For women, dissatisfaction arose when text was used to apologize or manage complex relationship issues and differences.
The good news is that everyone liked sharing endearments by text. If you want your texts to reduce stress and bring you closer together with your loved ones, here are seven texting in a relationship principles that you can put to use right away:
Texting In A Relationship Advice
1. Be gentle. It can be tempting to say things by text that you would soften (or might not say at all) if you were talking to someone in the same room. Before you press “send”, imagine how you would feel if you were on the receiving end.
2. Address conflicts directly. Using text to avoid an argument usually makes things worse, not better. Discussing sensitive issues works best when you can see each other, read their body language, and hear their voice tones. If your partner looks remorseful about forgetting your anniversary, it’s time to drop the subject.
3. Apologize in person. Asking for forgiveness becomes more meaningful when you do it in person. With texting, there’s a good chance that you will create an additional misunderstanding and make things worse, not better.
4. Listen to each other. Unfortunately, the primary function of texting is sending which is the opposite of listening.
5. Put your phone away. Except for emergencies, set your phone aside when you have company. Focus on the people around you.
6. Take a break. It’s easy for a conversation to escalate when you’re texting back and forth. If things are getting too heated, suggest tabling the subject until you can get together later. If you can’t get together in person use a phone call so that you can hear each others voice tones.
7. Hit delete. You might need to keep business texts for documentation, but when you’re texting with your loved ones it’s better to let go of resentments than to archive them.
Overall, texting is great when you want to say something nice to each other.
If you have anything potentially negative or difficult to communicate about, wait until you’re face to face or at least talking on the phone.
Think about it this way: texting is a great supplement to face to face and telephone communication, not a replacement. The more crucial the conversation, the more important it is for you to be face to face.